Three Years
by fae and her mask
Summary: It took Levi a year to realize he loved Hanji, another year to tell her, and one more year to marry her. ― Levi/Hanji; modern AU; drabbles going through the alphabet and involving an inanimate object
1. a

_disclaimer _― _I own nothing.  
_A.

With sharp, dark gray eyes, Levi peered down at the apple Hanji had offered him.

He really shouldn't have been surprised, since Hanji always brought double the food for lunch and usually shared, but he was. Maybe it was because she'd never shared with him, usually Erwin or Mike, but he was still surprised. So surprised, in fact, that he couldn't stop his eyes from widening the slightest bit.

A person such as Levi wasn't supposed to be surprised―and he wasn't supposed to show it.

Still, he took it, brushing strands of his dark hair aside before wiping it on the leg of his pants and taking a bite out of it. It was juicy and somewhat bittersweet, but he swallowed and looked at Hanji as emotionlessly as ever and said, "Thank you."

To his delight, which he did not show at all, she beamed at him and her smile grew just a bit wider as she took out her own apple and began munching on it―

and promptly spit it out.

"_Gah_, Levi―! How did you manage to take a bite out of yours?! This is sour," she cried, jumping up and snatching Petra's drink off the table and taking in a long sip. Petra giggled softly and Levi scowled, glancing over at where Mike and Erwin were.

They stood in line, exchanging looks at giving Hanji a look that told Levi they thought she was crazy.

Which Hanji was, mind you.


	2. b

_a/n _― _I turned the manga into a book. Please don't be mad.__  
_B.

"What kind of book is this, Hanji?"

The auburn-haired woman shrugged, flipping through the pages avidly. "It's a book that was set, oh, say, two-thousand years ago, I think?" She paused, holding up the cover and smiling brightly. "It's about these giant humanoids who look like the average male―but they eat humans!"

"Wow. How screwed are they?"

She rolled her eyes and adjusted her glasses. "Well, they created three walls―Wall Maria, Wall Rose, and Wall Sina. There's a shitload of action and I wish the author would tell us more about the Titans!" She squealed.

Levi sighed. "Haven't you already read enough books concerning stupid ideas about how humanity was pushed to the brink of extinction overnight?"

"No," Hanji snapped. "Because this one tops them all!" She cackled. "Who would've thought of creating a book such as this?! It's wonderful!"

He arched an eyebrow.

"Okay―okay, so there's three regiments of the police. Military, Garrison, and Scouts. The Military Police are utterly safe, the Garrison soldiers are somewhat safe, and the Scouts are out in the open, staring right in the face of danger!" she cried. "I think I'd join the Scouts. You probably would, too!"

"My ass," Levi added.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. Anyways, so there's these three kids that the story follows―one boy who's hotheaded and the potential savior of humanity, an Oriental girl who's worth one hundred soldiers, and another boy who's really shitty at killing and stuff but fantastic an being a strategist."

"Names?"

"You won't get names unless you read the book."

He scowled.

"Then they join the Scouts, where they meet humanity's strongest, the commander of the Scouts, and a Titan-scientist!"

Levi was positively sure she was about to burst with excitement, and just said, "Am I blessed with names on this one?"

"No. Are you interested?"

"Not the littlest bit."


	3. c

_a/n ― what corner of my mind did this come from?_  
C.

Hanji was fairly sure she'd packed everything―tent, flashlight grill. Extra clothes, another pair of shoes, and she didn't bother searching for her hairbrush. Sleeping bag, pillow, extra blanket. She stuffed everything into the trunk and successfully kept it all in there.

And she finally made her way back to where Levi was, who stood there with just about everything she'd missed and his own stuff. He'd even brought a hairbrush. Rolling down her window, Hanji smiled and popped open the trunk.

"Did you get everything?"

"Apparently, you didn't."

"What? I made a c_heckli_―"

"Did you bring a _cooler_?"

"...no."


	4. d

D.

"Doors," she said.

He didn't reply. Hanji didn't expect him to reply.

So she just brushed a few strands of auburn hair away from her face, adjusted her messy ponytail, and smiled. "It seems I've locked my keys in the car."

"Why am I not surprised?" he drawled.

Hanji shrugged, wrapping her arms around herself. Levi, after a long moment, shrugged off his jacket and handed it to her.

"Thanks."

"Do you have your cellphone?"

"No," she said. "Do you?"

He didn't answer.


	5. e

_a/n _― _many thanks for the reviews C:  
_E.

Levi honestly hadn't planned on not saying anything. He'd just... not said anything.

That wasn't much of a big deal, right? They could spend just a little time outside, right?

He hoped so.

And then he looked over at Hanji, who was frantically searching through her pockets. He hoped she knew his keys were in the car―he was looking at them right now. Sighing, he ran a hand through his hair and looked at Hanji.

Levi wished he hadn't.

Hanji was, in the way of how frazzled she looked, beautiful. Her messy hair had been pulled into a ponytail and what little light came through the trees fell perfectly upon her hair. Her messy, tangled hair. Someday he'd make her actually wash and brush it. Someday it'd be brushed.

"Hey, Levi," she said.

He looked at her and pushed away thoughts of how she'd someday brush her hair. Or he'd do it.

She pulled something out of her pocket and held it up.

"Can you pick a lock with eyeliner?"


	6. f

_a/n __― Wow. That's a lot of reviews... Thanks, internet people :3 (Hi, Sky.)  
_F.

"Well, because it's already night and I don't think we have a flashlight, why don't we go find a diner and eat?"

Levi wordlessly followed her down through the camping area and to the diner, ignoring how his phone stuck in his pocket and _annoyed the absolute shit out of him. _He couldn't ignore long enough to order, in which Hanji apologized to the waiter and ordered for him.

He stared down at a plate of fries and a hamburger in disgust.

"Don't hate me because you were too... shocked? Angry? Some emotion I can't quite pinpoint, but carrying on―to order yourself. Besides," she said, swiping a French fry off his plate and stuffing it in her mouth, "you never told me what you like."

I like you.

He ignored that part of his head and scowled at her, switching their plates around. Levi could honestly care less if she hated hamburgers, because she was not getting that bowl of soup back.

"Where's the spoon?"

She smirked.

"Hanji..." he growled.

Hanji's smirk only grew bigger as she said, "You'll have to use a fork."


	7. g

_a/n _― _Sorry for taking so long~ And they're playing a game, just so you know. Sorry if I confuse anybody.  
_G.

"Fuck this, I'm not playing."

Hanji snickered, brushing a few strands of auburn hair out of her line of sight and she continued to mess around with the game controller. Sitting on the couch beside her was Erwin, who was keeping a straight face despite how many times he'd been brutally killed.

By the one and only, Hanji Zoë.

Really, she hadn't meant to introduce Erwin and Levi to the game to just use them as target practice. She'd apologize to Levi later, beg for forgiveness, and order him some greasy fries later. Erwin, however, was actually getting quite decent at this.

He didn't see her yet, so she took the opportunity to shoot him in the head.

"Fuck!"

"Aww, Erwin, sweetie."

If Hanji had looked at Levi that moment, she'd see him flinch and scowl at her―but she didn't look and therefore, didn't see it.

"It's not my fault if you didn't see me." She paused, shooting him a few more times.

She heard Levi let out a muffled, "Tch," followed by, "Why are we even playing against you?"

"Because I need target practice."

Oops. Out it came. Hanji couldn't prevent the grin that spread across her face as she shot Erwin's character's gun out of his hand.


	8. h

_a/n _― _This reminds me that I need to brush my hair. ughsdjkfhsdnfsdjdfg.  
_H.

"Levi, get that Goddamned Hell-blessed thing away from me," Hanji hissed, frantically climbing over the couch to get away from the short man.

Said short man looked at the object in his hand―a hairbrush―and scowled. "Hanji, I will brush that ratty mess upon your head that you call hair if it's the last thing I do," he said, grabbing Hanji's foot and pulling her down onto the couch.

She shrieked, weakly smacking his arm. Levi released her ankle, grabbing her arm and forcing it behind her back. She let out a low whine, trying to escape his hold as he seated himself behind her.

"Leeevi," she wailed as he pulled her hair out of it's ponytail and placed the brush at the ends.

"Hanji, I am going to brush. Your. Hair," he growled.

He felt some satisfaction that she stopped wailing long enough for him to brush it. He felt even more satisfaction that he'd gotten to brush her hair.


	9. i

_a/n ― I'd like to note that an iguana is not an inanimate object.  
_I.

"Levi, do you want any ice in your soda?"

He almost laughed. Almost. "Of course I want ice in my soda, four-eyes," he snapped, running a hand through his hair.

"Ouch. One would think you've been rather grouchy today, am I right?"

Yes, he was rather grouchy today, if he used Hanji's words. He'd had to run between his dorm and classes several times because apparently, everybody was drinking coffee and they kept spilling it on him. It annoyed Levi to no ends how many shirts he'd gone through.

Not to mention how many stains he'd be cleaning when he got back to his dorm.

_Ugh_.


	10. j

_a/n _― _I want candy.  
_J.

Levi was ignoring her.

Hanji smirked and continued throwing Jolly Ranchers at him.

"For the love of God and all that is above, stop before I stuff you in a freezer," he growled.

She cackled in response. "It's because you _love_ me, isn't it?"

"I _don't_ love you. I _don't_ like you. I _barely_ even tolerate you."

She thought she saw a light tint of pink on his cheeks and smiled at her success.


	11. k

K.

"Levi, do you want a kiss?"

_Yes_. "No."

Hanji snorted, popping a chocolate kiss into her mouth.

"Are you sure?"

"I'm absolutely sure I don't want a kiss, Hanji," Levi snapped, although some part of his head was screaming _yes_.

Hanji bent down and kissed him on the cheek anyways―Levi's face colored brightly and his mouth dropped open. Cackling, she unwrapped a chocolate kiss and plopped it in his mouth, placing her hand under his chin and closing his mouth.

He bit his tongue.

She laughed and ran in the opposite direction. Without hesitation, Levi followed her.


	12. l

_a/n _― _Hello, all.  
_L.

Hanji decided to buy a pair of lacy gloves.

If only for the satisfaction of wearing lacy gloves.

They were bright, daring red and Hanji said to hell with _everything_―she put on a lacy red tank top and decided that her ripped jeans would go perfectly with it all. Well, ripped in a fashionable way, that is. Sure, she may not have the best fashion sense, but she still had a fashion sense.

However odd it may be.

Smirking, she sashayed her way to the kitchen, hands on hips, lips―

Knock. Knock. Knock.

And she paled.

Sprinting into her bedroom, she whipped the blanket and wrapped it around herself, running back to the door and jerking open it open.

"What are you doing, shitty glasses?"

Levi's gaze was glued to her fingers―decorated with lace gloves and holding the blanket closed over her outfit.

"Nothing."

"Alright, I'll come back la―"

"No!"

She'd completely forgotten Levi was taking her out to dinner as she jerked Levi into the house and abandoned her blanket, running for her bedroom before he got a good idea of his surroundings.

"_I will be back_!_ Five minutes_!_ Just five_,_ please wait_!"


	13. m

_a/n _― _Ohhh dear. I'm so sorry for not updating, but I've been rather lazy and have been catching up on my anime. hahahai'msosorrypleasedon'tshootmehahaha.  
_M.

Levi really, really, _really_ wished Hanji would stop kicking the mailbox.

"_God_―_damn_―_it!_" she screeched, ignoring the looks teenagers and adults and children gave her. She probably didn't care.

Levi wondered what she was so pissed about.

"_I just want my fucking DNA kit and it's not delivered yet_?!"

_Oh_.

Running a hand through his short, black hair, the short man sighed and wondered if he should risk being injured or not. But, well, Hanji would injure her feet if she kept kicking the mailbox mercilessly. Letting out another sigh, Levi strode down the stairs and across the road, over to Hanji.

Placing a hand on her shoulder, Levi said, "Hanji, for the love of God, stop kicking the mailbox."

"But I want my damn DNA kit!" she wailed in response.

"The mailbox never did anything to you," he said bluntly. He honestly didn't care at this point as long as she stopped.

And she did stop. Her back straightened and Hanji winced, her stare pointed down at her foot. "_Son of a bitch_," she hissed, "this hurts like hell."

He suppressed a sigh and laced his fingers through hers, tugging her back to the house. "We'll take care of it."


	14. n

N.

"For me?" Hanji cooed, gingerly taking the necklace from Levi's hands.

Said man rolled his eyes. "No, I bought it for my cat."

"Levi, you don't have a cat," she said.

"Of fucking_ course_ I _don't_ have a damn cat. Animals are a pain in the ass," he grumbled, looking away as Hanji put on the necklace.

It'd been two weeks.

He'd asked her to go to dinner with him a few days ago.

It'd been nice, because Hanji had practically lit up in glee. To be honest, that'd given him some glee, too. He wasn't even going to mention how beautiful she'd looked. (He was ignoring the fact she'd been wearing the most ridiculous outfit when he'd come to pick her up.)

(_Lace gloves_. _Really_, _Hanji_? _Really_?)

But Levi would never admit that she'd looked beautiful.

He didn't throw compliments out like they were nothing.

Although she looked beautiful in the necklace he'd given her a few seconds ago.

"You look very beautiful, Hanji," he blurted. A pale, reddish tint came to her cheeks and she looked away bashfully.

_Shit. _


	15. o

O.

"_Goddammit_!"

Levi rolled his eyes. For the past hour, Hanji had been attempting to bake a cake for one of her relatives whose birthday was coming up.

He wasn't even going to ask which relative it was, because then she'd make up some ridiculous story about the relative and how close they were when all she wanted was a cake.

Levi knew this.

Hanji knew this.

Neither would speak a word of it.

Running a hand through his hair, the short man strode into her living room and seated himself on the couch, watching Hanji glare at the oven.


	16. p

_a/n _― _Panties. I just... why. *facedesk*  
_P.

"Le_ee_vi_ii._"

The wailing voice belonged to Hanji. Grimacing, Levi jerked his phone away from his ear and said, "I'll just be there a few minutes later."

A loud sigh from the person on the other side of the call. "Okay."

"I'm sorry."

He heard a muffled sniffle and heard Hanji say in a watery voice, "It's okay," and then hang up.

Levi's jaw tightened and he glared at the messy stack of paperwork on his desk.

God, he hated paperwork.

It kept him from Hanji.


	17. q

_a/n _― _school just started. I'm so unbelievably sorry but I couldn't focus on anything. btw please leave suggestions in the reviews or PM me or something because my brain is fried D:__  
_Q.

Thunk.

Pulling his eyes away from the menu, Levi peered at the... chunk of salt, because he wasn't sure what it was but it looked like salt, and then looked at Hanji.

"What the hell is this?"

Without missing a beat, she seated herself at the other side of the table and said, "Quartz. Smoky quartz, to be specific."

He raised both eyebrows and she proceeded to explain. Internally sighing, he adjusted his menu so he didn't have to watch her blabber on about smoky quartz and peered at one of the choices.

_smoked steak with a side of fries_

How classy.

"―are attached at the other end to a matrix and only one termination pyramid is present."

He moved his menu over to the side to look at her.

"What."

Hanji rolled her eyes, adjusted her glasses, and began speaking again. He moved his menu back to where he predicted Hanji wouldn't be able to see his face and allowed himself to smile faintly at her rants. Her extremely passionate rants about science.

Awhile back, she'd called and said that she'd been offered a part-time job as an assistant in a highschool science teacher's class. He'd said something sarcastic, she'd laughed, then said she had to go.

"_Science is awaiting me_!" Hanji had cried a few seconds before she hung up. Levi could practically see her grinning widely with her cellphone pressed to her ear.

Honestly, he was extremely happy he'd decided to confess his feelings, no matter how extremely vague and hard to decipher as they were.


	18. r

_a/n ― GUYS I'M SORRY PLEASE FORGIVE ME  
_R.

Levi combed his fingers through Hanji's hair.

Her ratty, auburn hair that he loved.

She shifted in her sleep slightly, mumbling something about an incomplete decimal. He smiled slightly―because he is Levi and does not smile completely―and trailed his fingers across her clothed back. He'd been dragging her to the gym lately because she needed to stop taking her anger out on her door.

It was good for her.

If she didn't work herself until she was on the brink of losing consciousness, that is. Suppressing a sigh, he peered over her shoulder at the alarm clock.

_5:03 AM_

Two more minutes until Hanji's alarm clock would blare Anaconda by Nicki Minaj and she'd startle awake, ruining Levi's perfect view of her face. His smile grew just a little bit wider as he pressed a small kiss to her nose and began counting.

Two minutes later, the alarm clock did not blare Anaconda by Nicki Minaj, but instead, Hanji jerked upwards into a sitting position and screamed, "_Levi_!"

His small smile twisted into a grimace as her wrapped his arms around her waist and said, "I'm right here, four-eyes."

Her brown eyes darted to him and the panic melted into relief. "Thank God," she mumbled, dropping back down to the bed and dragging Levi with her.

* * *

"Today is the day, Levi," Erwin said.

Levi remained emotionless, staring at the store specifically revolving around wedding rings. "Jesus Christ, Erwin. Is this necessary?"

Erwin pinned the shorter man with an icy stare. "Yes. Keith wouldn't accept anything other from what's at this store," he said, referring to his husband as he strode into the store―

Rings.

Rings and rings and rings.

Silver and gold and diamonds.

"Hanji doesn't like this kind of stuff," Levi blurted.

Erwin rolled his eyes, dragging the shorter man through the store and towards one of the employees.

"Erwin―"

"This is my friend, Levi, and he's looking to buy a ring for his soon-to-be wife, Hanji," Erwin began, completely undaunted by the shorter man's glare.

"―I swear to God―"

"I'm fairly sure that something simple would be perfect―"

"―I will kick you where the sun doesn't shine, Erwin―"

Erwin arched a bushy eyebrow. "Oh?"

And somehow, an hour later, they managed to get two wedding rings.

* * *

"Heey, Levi~?"

The drawling voice was Hanji's as she spoke over the phone.

"I was wondering if I could con you into taking me out tonight? Pretty please?" She paused. He could practically see a hopeful grin on her lips. "At that Italian restaurant with the garlic bread? I know you might think it's annoying, but for the love of all that is science, _I must figure out what they put in their garlic bread_!"

He smiled widely. Everything was going accordingly to the plan Erwin had set out before them.

"Yes, you can con me into taking you out tonight. I'll pick you up from your house."

* * *

Everything was going fantastic.

He expected nothing to go less than fantastic.

Erwin and Keith were hidden in a booth on the other side of the restaurant, Nanaba and Mike squeezed in there with them. Petra, Oluo, Eld, and Gunther had squeezed into another booth, being as loud as they could without being too...

annoying.

Straightening up slightly, Levi looked up over the top of his menu and Hanji. She sat there in a yellow button-up shirt and black jeans, her auburn hair pulled out of its' ponytail for once. Her glasses were poised on the edge of nose as she looked over the menu.

He breathed out slowly, jerking her menu up in an effort to keep his mind off of Hanji for seven damn seconds.

It didn't work and he found himself standing up, saying, "Hanji, I'd like to ask you something," as he stepped over to her chair and got down on one knee.

She placed her menu on the table and said, in an extremely soft voice, "Levi...?"

"Will you marry me, Hanji Zoë?"

Without missing a beat, she said, "Yes, I will marry you. _Without a doubt._"


	19. s

_a/n _― _I'm so freaking sorry for not updating but hey it's a Friday and I have lots of free time today and tomorrow and after tomorrow so I'll try to update within those days. :D  
_S.

Levi was too tired to even pull himself out of bed.

After months of planning, long events that led up to the marriage, and the wedding, he was exhausted. But, well, Hanji had looked beautiful.

So, when he did drag himself out of bed, he was met by the sight of Hanji sitting at the table, munching on a piece of toast as Erwin and Mike stood in the kitchen, chatting quietly.

"Morning, Levi!"

He mumbled a greeting and seated himself at the table.


	20. t

_a/n _― _I'm so sorry but life and then I'm trying to cram other little tiny writing projects and school and such. then I write these drabbles for Inanimate Objects anD I FORGET TO POST THEM. YOU MUST BE LIKE, "THANKS FAE. IT MEANS A LOT FOR YOU TO FORGET US." okay I understand and am sorry please accept this as an apology  
_T.

"Hanji, please tell me you haven't trashed the place yet."

Silence, then, "What do you mean, Levi~?"

He rolled his eyes. "Nevermind. See you tonight."

Tonight as in at home where he'd be sure to use Hanji as a pillow.

* * *

With being married to Levi came with fluffy blankets.

And fluffy towels.

Mainly because before being married, Hanji sat on his couch for long periods of time typing away on her laptop because she absolutely could not be bothered to go across the street. He'd thrown a blanket across her one night and the next day she'd complained that it wasn't soft and fuzzy.

Once, he'd asked why she wouldn't go over to her house.

"Science," she had once told Levi, "is extremely important."

He'd snorted and sashayed into the kitchen, probably hunting for some tea.

She heard the door open and glanced at the small digital clock in the corner of her screen―9:57 PM―and then at where she guessed Levi was. She was right, and partially wrong, because the short man who was her husband had later flopped down on her lap.

Hanji rolled her eyes and shut her laptop off, putting it on the table in favor of the TV remote control.


	21. u

_a/n_ ― _god I'm lazy_  
U.

Levi despised rain with a passion.

Not only did it create mud, but Hanji almost always dragged mud throughout the house they shared whenever it did rain. His view on rain was changing, though, but not particularly for the good.

It wasn't turning worse, either.

Hanji wanted to go on a walk, and dragged Levi along when it started raining.

"I have an idea," she whispered, her nose inches away from his as she sprinted down the street and into the house, taking a minute to get whatever it was and sprint back.

A bright, rainbow-colored umbrella popped open above them.

With muted annoyance, Levi noted how they'd have to cram together to avoid being soaked. He zipped up his coat and stepped away.

Hanji sent him an annoyed look and said, "Get under the umbrella."

"No."

"Why noooot," she whined.

"Because I prefer you when you're warm and happy, rather than cold and annoyed," Levi said.

Hanji opened her mouth and Levi silenced her with a kiss, going to such lengths to stand on his tip-toes to reach her.


	22. v

_a/n _― _Levi still doesn't need viagra okay_  
V.

"Hanji, where's the broom?"

The auburn-haired scientist rolled her eyes and said, "Brooms take too much work."

"Not for a clean place to live," Levi snapped. He looked around and then said, "So, where is it?"

Hanji strode down the hallway, opening up a closet and pulling out a vacuum cleaner.

"What is that," the short man said, is expression remaining perfectly blank.

"A vacuum cleaner!" Hanji cheered, pushing it towards Levi. "It's perfect! I named her Patricia."

"..._her_?"

Levi took the vacuum cleaner from her.

"..._Patricia_...?"


	23. w

_a/n _― _thank you for all the lovely reviews c:_  
W.

"Hanji, where's my wallet."

He didn't ask, he didn't demand. He stated. Because Hanji was probably up to no good, doing something with his wallet. And in his wallet was his debit card.

She was probably buying some science-y if he knew anything about her.

"Nowhere," she answered. Levi followed the sound of her voice to the bedroom, where she sat on the bed, fingers rapidly punching the keys and his wallet dissected.


	24. x

_a/n_ ― _would y'all pretty please give me inanimate objects that start with Y and Z?_  
X

"Scarves are fun to wear. I can see why Mikasa always wears hers," Hanji mumbled, pulling the bright yellow fabric up over her nose.

Levi rolled his eyes. "Or, maybe it's because the scarf was Eren's," he said, tugging her along the sidewalk.

"Twenty questions?" Hanji offered.

"No. You already know everything about me," Levi said.

"Did you know I like to play the xylophone?"

He shook his head. "No."

"Well, it's really fun because―"

The shorter of the two reached up on tippy-toes and kissed Hanji quickly. "Save the explanation for later."

"Fine. Twenty questions?"

"No."


	25. y

_a/n_ ― _o H DEAR IT'S ALMOST OOOOOVER_  
Y.

"I want to try knitting."

"No."

Levi snatched the small ball of yarn out of Hanji's hands. She gave a pitiful wail as she lunged for it.

"Why _nooot_?"

The shorter man fixed her with a glare. "Because you'll end up using the yarn for science when it's ordinary yarn that won't do anything for science," he said, stuffing it in his back pocket.

Hanji narrowed her eyes. "You don't know! It might help science!" she cried as she stuffed her hand in Levi's pocket and sprinted through the house.

Levi sighed.


	26. z

_a/n ― hOLY FRICKIN FRACKIN DADDLY CRACKIN SHIT. this is the end. (Yes, a zoo is technically not an inanimate object but I can't come up with anything better and everybody wants a zoo so yey c: )_  
Z.

"The _equus quagga_―most common, about six subspecies, three species. _Equus quagga_, _equus zebra_, _equus greyv_i."

This greatly confused many people who stood around the short man and the taller woman, but it was partially clarified when he asked, "What the hell is an _equus quagga_?" and she replied, "An _equus quagga_ is a plains zebra. An _equus zebra_ is a mountain zebra and an _equus greyvi_ is a greyvi zebra. Clarified?"

The shorter man snorted and dragged her away from the zebras, to which she replied with a screech, and towards the snake exhibit. He wasn't sure what to call it, but Hanji often referred to them as exhibits and so he referred to them as so, too.

When she saw where they were going, she began to inform Levi about the many things about snakes.

"Animalia, Chordata, Reptilia, Squamata, Ophidia, Serpentes." She took in a gulp of air. "Kingdom, phylum, class, order, clade, suborder."

Levi scowled.

"Snakes are elongated, legless, carnivorous reptiles of the suborder Serpentes that can be distinguished from legless lizards by their lack of eyelids and external ears. Many species of snakes―"**  
**

"―Hanji, as much joy as listing off facts about... snakes and zebras and science may be for you," Levi said dryly, "I am _not_ having a fun time receiving all these weird looks from people."

"You're such a party-pooper, Levi."


End file.
